Top 5 Takeaways
- Staying connected matters, but visits and communication are tightly controlled by each facility.
- In-person visits require advance approval, strict ID, dress codes, and arriving early.
- Small mistakes (wrong clothing, late arrival, missing approval) can result in denied visits.
- Letters, emails, photos, and video messages are often monitored, delayed, and subject to rules and fees.
- Missed calls, delays, or silence are common and not a reflection of how much someone cares.
Visits & Contact
Maintaining connection matters, even when the system makes it difficult. Visits, letters, and other forms of contact help people inside stay grounded and remind them they’re not forgotten. This section explains how visits usually work, how to prepare, and what to expect so you can avoid unnecessary stress or denied access.
Preparing for In-Person Visits
Visiting someone in jail or prison takes preparation. Every facility has its own rules, and violations can result in denied visits or, in some cases, being banned from future visits. Checking details ahead of time can save you time, money, and frustration.
Before You Go
Get Approved
Most facilities require visitors to be approved in advance. This usually involves filling out a visitor application online or by mail and waiting for background check approval. Approval can take days or weeks, so don’t assume you can visit without confirmation.
Check Visiting Hours
Visiting hours vary by facility and sometimes by housing unit or security level. Some facilities require advance scheduling, while others assign visiting days based on last name or housing assignment. Always check the most current schedule before going.
Bring Valid ID
A government-issued photo ID is required. This typically includes a driver’s license, state ID, passport, or military ID. Expired IDs are often not accepted.
Arrive Early
Processing takes time. Arriving at least 30–45 minutes before visiting hours end increases your chances of being allowed in. Late arrivals are commonly turned away, even if the delay wasn’t your fault.
Dress Code: What Not to Wear
Dress codes are strictly enforced and vary by facility. Common restrictions include:
- Revealing clothing (low-cut tops, short skirts or shorts, sleeveless shirts)
- Clothing that resembles inmate uniforms (khaki, orange, all white, or denim in some facilities)
- See-through or excessively tight clothing
- Hats, sunglasses, or excessive jewelry
- Hoodies or jackets with inside pockets (in some facilities)
When in doubt, dress conservatively. Business casual clothing is usually a safe choice.
What You Can (Usually) Bring
Most facilities allow very few personal items inside. Typically permitted items include:
- Valid photo ID
- Car keys (sometimes required to be stored in a locker)
- A small amount of money for vending machines (often quarters or small bills)
- Baby supplies if visiting with an infant (such as diapers, wipes, or formula, all subject to inspection)
Everything else usually must be left in your car, including purses, wallets, phones, makeup, and bags.
Writing Letters & Other Ways to Stay in Touch
When visits are limited or unavailable, letters and other forms of contact become especially important. Staying in touch helps people inside feel connected to the outside world and gives supporters a consistent way to show up, even when schedules, distance, or cost get in the way.
Writing Letters
Letters are one of the most reliable ways to communicate. While they aren’t instant, they provide something tangible that can be reread and kept.
What to know about letters:
- All mail is screened and may be read by staff
- Delivery can take days or weeks
- Some facilities only allow plain white paper and envelopes
- Certain items (stickers, perfume, cards with glitter, photos beyond a limit) may be rejected
- Some facilities will only scan your letter and virtually share it with your loved one
Always check the facility’s mail rules before sending anything.
What to write about:
- Everyday life and small updates
- Encouragement and reassurance
- Neutral topics like books, TV, music, or shared memories
Avoid discussing legal matters, conflicts, or anything that could cause problems if read by staff.
Even short letters matter. Consistency is often more meaningful than length.
Other Ways to Stay In Touch
Email and Electronic Messaging
Some facilities offer electronic messaging through tablets or kiosks. These messages may feel faster than letters, but they are still monitored and often cost money.
Things to keep in mind:
- Messages may be delayed or screened before delivery
- Fees apply per message or per attachment
- Not all facilities offer this option
Electronic messages can be helpful, but they shouldn’t be treated as private communication.
Photos
Photos are allowed in many facilities but are often limited in number and size. Photos are screened, and may be denied by staff for various reasons.
Common rules include:
- No nudity or suggestive images
- No photos showing illegal activity
- Limits on how many photos can be received at one time
Simple photos of everyday life, family, pets, or scenery are usually safe and appreciated.
Video Messages and Tablets
Some facilities allow video messages or tablet-based communication. These can feel more personal, but they often come with higher fees and stricter rules.
Availability depends entirely on the facility and the contracted provider.
A Note for Supporters
Staying in touch takes effort, patience, and sometimes money. Missed messages, delays, or silence don’t always mean someone doesn’t care or isn’t trying. Communication inside is controlled and unpredictable.
Showing up in whatever way you can is enough. You don’t have to do everything to make a difference.